Sunday, February 04, 2007

Business Joe


So I'm starting this small business training course on Monday. It goes for six weeks and they cover all sorts of stuff that I have absolutely no idea about, like accounting, marketing, legal crap... basically all the stuff that I've been avoiding over the past twenty-one years.

I'm expecting a bit of a shock to the system, as my post-uni activities have pretty much consisted of the following:
  1. Hang out

  2. Play Nintendo
Still, I'm looking forward to the challenge.

The course itself is part of a government initiative for people who want to start their own small business. The idea is you do this training and then start up your business and the government gives you some financial support for up to twelve months. It sounds like a pretty sweet deal, but I'm slowly coming to realise the amount of work I'm going to be doing. The work itself I don't mind so much, it's more the being my own boss part that I can see causing some problems.

I don't think I'd make the best boss in any situation. If I were in charge of a bunch of employees, they'd all love me, but the business would be going to shit. This is probably why I could never become a teacher. All the kids would think I was the best, but the parents wouldn't stop hassling me about why their kid can't do fractions. I suppose being my own boss is probably going to cause the least amount of damage.

Problem is, all my work is going to be done in the same vicinity as where a great deal of my recreation is done - my room. I don't know if I'll be able to fill out tax statements long enough before I get distracted and start bouncing a volleyball off my wall. Uni was easier. When I was at uni, I'd be in uni mode. Then when I got home, recreation mode. Then back to uni mode on the night before something important was due. It was a rock-solid regime. But once I finish the six-week training, my work-place is gonna be the same as my recreation place.

To remedy the situation, I propose a split of personalities. This might sound weird and probably even a little psychotic, but trust me, it needs to be done. And so I give you:

Recreation Joe:

This is the Joe you all know and love. He's happy-go-lucky, laugh-out-loud funny, and an excellent kisser. Sure, he is slightly arrogant, but in that cute way that makes you like him even more.

His daily routine stops at waking up. Anything after that is a gamble.

Nobody can't get enough of this guy. He's the best.

Business Joe:

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. 8am. Wake up. Take a leak. Jump in shower. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Dry. Dress. Sultana Bran. Milk. Munch. Crunch. Slurp. Check e-mail. Ignore MySpace. 9am. Start work. Work. Work. Work. Avoid TV. Work. Work. 1pm. Break for lunch. Munch. Crunch. Slurp. Back to work. Work. Work. Get off MSN. Work. 5pm.

If this guy has to drive some place, nobody cuts in front. He's in a permanent state of simmering stress from trying to avoid the persistent dull tapping at the back of his brain that's telling him to stop working and watch an episode of Entourage.

I hate this guy.

So there it is. I'll clue you all in on the business itself as more details come to hand. For now, wish me luck, and here's hoping Business Joe doesn't stage a full personality take-over.

1 comment:

Carl said...

Hey, congrats on getting into the course. Should be heaps of fun actually.

Now this is gonna sound lame, but the best thing you can do is set yourself a few simple goals, stick 'em up on your wall and reward yourself (with Nintendo) whenever you get one done.

Enjoy it while it lasts. The only other opportunity for getting paid whilst studying is military service!