Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Monday, January 30, 2006

For Lucy, at long last.

I've been saving this one.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Getting there...

Here's a page from the new story book I'm working on. Still doesn't have a title. The location is based on photos I took of the Merri Creek which runs just behind my house. The water is much cleaner in my drawing, though. I'm still not entirely happy with the monkey in this drawing. I think I'll rework him.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Chickahn


Try as I may, I couldn't come up with something funny for the chicken to be upset about... so he's just upset. Any ideas?

My Kick-Ass Room

My Mum brought back a digital camera from overseas (after something "happened" to the other one we had) and I made good use of it by putting together this really choppy panorama of my new room, with descriptions! Click the pic to view a bigger image (it's about 500kB, so be patient).

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Oh, the metaphor!

Get it?

GET IT?

Interests: lounging

Here's a sketch that I abandoned due to lack of interest, which, considering the subject matter, is pretty ironic.

Wait... is that actually ironic? Or just a coincidence?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Copper Process

Kazu Kibuishi (linked to in the previous post) has just put up an awesome step-by-step description of how he makes his Copper comic. Click the image to go there.

Linkarama

I've been meaning to link to a bunch of other blogs/comics that take my fancy, so here they are:

White Ninja - An online comic. So odd sometimes that you just have to laugh.

Michael Foster - A sketch blog by a guy with an awesome retro 60's style that I wish I could do.

Copper - A monthly webcomic by Kazu Kibuishi. Beautiful environments.

TenNapel.com - The blog/website of one of my heroes (in art), Doug TenNapel. Be carfeul, though. He's a right-wing conservative Christian.

Jellaby - A comic by Kean Soo. Touching and funny writing and great artwork.

Butterfly - Webcomic by Dean Trippe. A great take on the whole superhero/sidekick thang.

I'll update later in the day with a new pic, maybe.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Love, love is a verb. Love is a doing word... apparently.

As is common with most sane people, I fucking hate chain e-mails. Send me one, and you can be sure that I'll make it my mission in life to make it exceedingly difficult for you to urinate. Nothing fancy. Just a quick jab to the kidneys.

However, there comes a rare occasion when I receive a chain letter so repulsive that merely bruising your bladder would not sate my desire to make life extremely uncomfortable for you. The following is such a case. I won't name the sender, suffice to say that if he/she is reading this, you know who you are, assgoblin.

The e-mail itself was cunningly preceded with a biting warning that was so Machiavellian in it's deliverance that I just have to reproduce it here in all it's original, unedited glory. In case any of you poor souls were considering ignoring the golden nuggets of counsel contained within, let this serve as fair warning:

(FROM THIS POINT IN, ALL TEXT FROM THE CHAIN LETTER WILL APPEAR IN RED.)

Hey Y'all!!! I got this from one of my good friends Good will happen!!! LISTEN TO THIS LETTER AND GOOD LUCK!!!!! Sorry, but this chain letter is for real. When Anne Wichert got it for the first time, she ignored it and a week later the love of her life dumped her for no good reason so BEWARE, and just send the stupid letter!!!!!!

Don't let the liberal use of exclamation points, implied hillbilly drawl and playful self-degradation fool you. This is serious stuff. Ignoring this letter will create an unstoppable relationship-destroying curse that will haunt you for no good reason.

Anywhat, the letter continues with a touching mini-poem or "poetta", before launching into the real meat and potatoes.

The Lovers of the Heart
In order to form a more perfect kiss, enable the mighty hug to promote to whom we please but one kiss.


Daring prose, to be sure. If that doesn't get you in the mood, nothing will. On with the letter.

Article 1: The Kiss
1. Kiss on the hand = I adore you
2. Kiss on the cheek = I just want to be friends
3. Kiss on the neck = I want you
4. Kiss on the lips = I love you
5. Kiss on the ears = I am just playing

This guide to reading the true meaning behind different types of kisses seems okay, but it's too general for my taste. Here's my revised version, which I think is much truer to life:

Article 1: The Kiss
1. Kiss on the hand = I can't find a napkin
2. Kiss on the cheek = I get to kiss you without seeming like a pervert
3. Kiss on the neck = I am a vampire
4. Kiss on the lips = Let's make with the sex, already
5. Kiss on the ears = I am drunk/blind
On with the letter:

Article 2: The Three Steps
1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him.
2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good.
3. Guys & Girls: Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare.

While it's been a while since I've "gotten fresh" with the ladies, I still think that steps 1 and 2 are a little biased. Any set of rules that basically gives girls a license to physically assault guys without fear of consequence just doesn't sit right with me. I wonder how many times a girl has to slap me before I can slap her back, preferably with the back of my hand. That may sound sexist or politically incorrect to you, but the girl should be fine with it, as it would be quite clear that "my intentions are still good."

Although the third step may seem like unnecessary filler, it's actually quite important, what with the increased number of unintentional ear-kissing that's been going on lately.

Let's jump back in, shall we?

Article 3: The Commandments
1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.
3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.

The religious connotations of this "article" clearly denote that these guidelines of love are doubly important, and are to be held in the utmost reverence. Although, I would like a little more clarity on the first commandment – thou shall not squeeze *what* too hard? I guess that's left to reader interpretation. It also seems to me that commandment number 2 may be a chief cause of all this slapping business. And commandment 3 just seems downright impractical – although it would make funerals a little more interesting.

Onward!

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way they call you after you just had a big fight.
3. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....
4. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
5. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"
6. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...
7. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
8. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
9. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
10. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!
11. The way they say "I miss you"
12. The way you miss them
13. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....

Sensing a pattern here? Something tells me that this chain letter wasn't written by someone with two types of chromosomes. I'd like to revise that list with my own version. Actually, scratch that, all I need to do is change the title to:

Here are a few reasons why girls annoy the shit out of guys.

I can't keep up this charade any longer. According to the logic of that list, all guys are a bunch smelly assholes who are so under the thumb that their entire face is covered with an enormous thumbprint.

And so, the e-mail is done dispensing its valuable advice. Next comes the inevitable denouement.

This chain started in 1997.
It is a love chain letter.


Thanks for clarifying that.

In an hour you are supposed to send it to 25 people. It is easy, just look into chat rooms and find them.

I'm sure those 25 strangers will really appreciate the effort you went to.

Next, as if annoying random strangers wasn't bad enough, the letter suggests you dabble in black magic so that your will be done:

Now here comes the fun part. You then say the name of the person you like or love and then the person will say "I love you," or "Will you go out with me?"

Imagine the family gatherings:

GRANDKID: "How you and grandpa get together?"
GRANDMA: "Well, a chain letter advised me to put a curse on your grandpa, and the next day he proposed to me."
GRANDPA: "I love you. Will you go out with me?"
GRANDMA: "Quiet, dear."

Just in case you were thinking that this whole chain letter was some sort of prank, the author's stunning command of the English language assures otherwise:

NO JOKE!!!!!

And just when you thought you were getting the deal of a lifetime without any consequences:

NOW THE CONSEQUENCES
The consequences are: If you break the chain letter, you will have bad luck in future relationships. If you don't break the chain, then you will be a happy camper!!!


Bad luck? I must remember not to play any games of poker with my future girlfriends.

CoNgRatULaTioNs!! You have been chosen to participate in the LONGEST and the LUCKIEST chain letter on the Internet! Once you read, this letter you must IMMEDIATELY (meaning within the hour) be sent to 25 people After you send it, make a wish and it will come TRUE
YOU MAY NOT WAIT FOR A CERTAIN TIME TO SEND IT........
REMEMBER, IT MUST BE SENT TO 25 PEOPLE WITHIN 1 HOUR, OR YOUR WISH WILL NOT COME TRUE!
If THIS CHAIN LETTER IS CONTINUED UNTIL THE YEAR 2006, IT WILL BE PLACED IN THE GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS! PLEASE CONTINUE IT NOW!!!


As if the promise of undying love from your person of choice wasn't enough for you to be convinced, you, yes YOU could play a part in getting this letter in the record book! Wow!

*WARNING* IF YOU DO NOT PASS THIS ON, SOMETHING BAD OR WORSE WILL HAPPEN TO YOU.

I shudder to think what "or worse" could pertain to.

And now, the thrilling conclusion:

*NOTE* THE MORE PEOPLE YOU SEND THIS TO THE MORE LUCK YOU WILL HAVE IN YOUR LOVE LIFE. IF YOU BREAK THE CHAIN LETTER (IT HAS BEEN GOING SINCE 1997) YOU WILL HAVE BAD LUCK WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE FOR SEVEN YEARS.THIS IS NO JOKE. GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Ignoring the fact that someone was actually able to pen this monstrosity, the fact that people actually felt the need to forward it gives me less confidence in the stability of the human race. I mean, I know there are idiots out there, but this...

You should be ashamed of yourselves.
Now excuse me while I go scouring the chat rooms for strangers' e-mail addresses.

Phunky Milk

True story.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Folio re-design

I re-designed my online folio.

CLICK.

It's a lot simpler now, and one jillion times easier to update than before. All the images up there at the moment are fairly old, but I'm planning to put some of the better blog drawings there soon, plus a few goodies.

I didn't have time to draw anything new today, so here's a sketch of Sagat from Street Fighter that I did a few weeks ago. It's pretty lame.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

For Jono

Here's hoping that "special" medication does it's work quickly.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

This could be the start of something... slightly larger than average.

Here's a small preview from the new story I'm working on. For those who are familiar with some of my past work (all three of you), this image may look familiar. You're probably thinking about this piece I did about a year ago: CLICK!

I updated the monkey a bit, made him cuter (as if that was possible), and now he's the lead in a brand spankering new story I'm making called:

...

Well, I don't have a title yet. But it's gonna be big! You could say it's gonna be BIGGER THAN BEN HURMAN... this fat kid who went to my primary school. Man, what a fatass.

Munkeh!

Just a quick character model for a new story I'm planning (yes, I'm actually planning this one).

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Somebody left the spandex at the dry cleaners.

For Louie

Bored businessmen are my default.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Fuck This Shit - Chapter Seven



As you can probably tell, I had no idea where the hell this was going.

At least one good thing came out of it.

SPACE ZOMBIES!!!

Fuck This Shit - Chapter Six

Fuck This Shit - Chapter Five

Fuck This Shit - Chapter Four

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I give you... KONG!

A slight break from the epic "Fuck This Shit" sequential that's been taking place here, but it'll be back tomorrow.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Fuck This Shit - Chapter One

For Ally

For guessing what I screwed up in the singlet drawing. It's Ally (or Elly) the Elephant!

Friday, January 06, 2006

Captain Spandex, The Adventures of

I almost trashed this drawing like, 5 times as I was working on it. It still doesn't entirely impress me.

I was trying something different with the linework. It's all the same weight. I was going for an old-timey comic book feel, but I don't think I really nailed it. I think I'll stick to my usual varied line weight.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Blue cygnet.

Today I bought a blue Bonds singlet. Lucy thinks it looks like unionist wear. For some reason she suggested I draw me in the singlet holding a martini. She's weird like that.

I fucked up one thing on this drawing. First one to tell me gets a jab to the kidneys. Or a cookie. Whichever comes first.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Office cock.

Kicking off the new year in a fairly low brow manner.