Sunday, May 28, 2006

The last known photo of my beard.

It comes off tomorrow, amidst fears of possible "pash rash".

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Miners' millions.

So Channel 9 beat Channel 7's offer for the miner's story.

Let me exprain for those of you who've been living under a rock (pun unfortunately intended). A couple of miner's got stuck underground after an earthquake in Tasmania collapsed the mine they were working in. They were underground in a tiny cage for about two weeks, while the rescue boffins figured out how to retrieve them and the media boffins did a background check to make sure nothing would interfere with branding the two bogans as "heroes". So they got out, kissed their wives, and made no secret about trying to get as much dosh out of it as possible. The networks battled it out, and Channel 9 came out the winner, with an offer nearing 2 million bucks.

My Dad suggested he go to the losing network Channel 7 with an offer of his own: "For a million-and-a-half they can put me underground for a month." (Spoken in a charming Italian accent.)

Thursday, May 11, 2006


Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Aaaah... fuck.

I've been fucking had.

So I did this I.Q. test yesterday and it turns out it was a bloody prank. Even though it looked to me like I got 144 on the test, everyone else saw a 74. To correct this injustice, I took a screen capture of my brilliant score, cut it out and replaced the prank image, so that everyone could truly see what a genius I is. Today I found that the test is missing and in it's place is le prank revealed.

Now I feel like a fucking dunce. However, doesn't the fact that I can admit that show true character, which is even more invaluable than intelligence? Probably not, no. But at least let me pretend.

The saddest part is that I cheated on a couple of questions.

Monday, May 08, 2006

My application to Mensa is in the mail.

If a free IQ test that I found on someone's blog doesn't prove I'm smart, then nothing can.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Hangin' for you...


Are you PSYCHED for the new Mission Impossible movie? By golly, I am! Tom Cruise may be a placenta-slurping dick in real life (although my mate Louie may disagree), but when it comes to the big screen, he sure knows how to blow shit up and make himself look really cool!

Our preperations for the big premiere tomorrow night have included watching the trailer at LEAST 10 times every hour and re-watching our favourite parts of the original flick, including, but not limited to: "Kittridge, you haven't seen me upset..." and "Red light! Green light!"

I can't wait for the action sequences. Louie can't wait for the jumbo popcorn and Coke in limited edition collector's containers.

Louie spent a solid hour at work today making this image of one of our favourite scenes from the first Mission Impossible movie:

(Click HERE to see the full thing.)