Friday, October 10, 2008

Google makes me unorginal.

There's this website. I'm not sure if you've heard about it.

It's called Google.

Google steals my imagination and makes me unoriginal.

Just now, I was thinking about corn. Corn kernels, to be precise. I'm a wordy kind of guy, so naturally, upon dwelling on corn kernels, I soon started thinking about the word "kernel". Kernel. Then I thought, hey, that's homonymous with the word colonel.

Within seconds, I had fully realised a character named "Kernel Cob" in the landscape of my mind.

Kernel Cob is basically a giant ear of corn in a military outfit.

Genius, no?


So before sitting down to plan out an entire multi-million dollar franchise based around my ingenious invention, habit compelled me to do a quick Google search for "Kernel Cob". Naturally, I expected it to return a whole mess of results about corn - after all, kernels and cobs are common parlance when discussing corn - but what I did not expect to find, was this:

Not only did I discover, to my utter dismay, that someone had already thought of the idea of a giant ear of corn dressed in colonel's garb, but Google provided me with 31 pages from the book in which Kernel Cob makes his glorious debut.

This is not an isolated incident, mind you. There were countless others, but those ideas are currently dwelling in the dank, dark recesses of my mind, too ashamed to enter the light of consciousness for fear of being seen as the fraudulent conceptions that they are. The "Kernel Cob" fiasco just so happens to be a fresh occurrence, which lended itself nicely to these words you are currently reading.

I love the Internet, I'll be the first to admit that. The information afforded to us by the World Wide Web is incalculable compared to the information that previous generations had access to, and I'm sure that our global society will eventually be better off for it.

But fuck and hell, Google. Fuck and hell. Let me keep some ideas for once, eh?


innocentgirl said...

Google the word 'meme' and read about it, you'll realize you're not unoriginal at all but are having the same electrical impulses in our heads as everyone else. Having a clever idea is one things, executing it, marketing it and getting it out there is another thing altogether... money and fame help this alot, that's why there are crappy perfumes, clothing and childrens' books by celebrities sitting in stores when really original ideas fall by the wayside.
Keep thinking and thank god you had the privelidge of knowing a life before google.

innocentgirl said...

PS "I'm sure that our global society will eventually be better off for it"... I'm a little more pessimistic about this, I think it will water down everything into a big ol' soup and break down our already fragmented culture until future generations can't determine the history of, or difference in meaning between a Peace dove and a McDonalds sign.

Joe said...

Scott Adams (creator of "Dilbert" and also a great writer in his own right) has a formula for originality:


He then illustrated his point with an image of Charlie Brown and Snoopy and then his own characters Dilbert and Dogbert. While granted there are some big differences, he has a point. "It's all been done", as the Barenaked Ladies said.

I'm still thinking about a reply to your second comment. I may make a new post about it.